She May Be
by maia.maiestas
Summary: Bill contemplates his confusing and secret relationship with Hermione. WARNING: smut
1. The Face I Can't Forget

**The Face I Can't Forget**

One morning I woke up and saw her face. A fierce song of adornment rose within my chest and it scared me like nothing had ever scared me before. Because the face I saw wasn't the face of the woman lying next to me, the face of the woman who loved me, the face of my wife. It was the face one of my friends. The face of Hermione Granger.

Try as I may I couldn't forget her face. Or more importantly, I couldn't forget the way I felt when I thought of her face. My hands would grow damp, my heart would quicken, my mouth would dry up and I would be at a total loss for words. I knew those symptoms well; I'd experienced them all when I first fell in love with Fleur.

I wanted to forget all about Hermione and my feelings for her, but that was harder said than done. Over the last few years she had become a part of the family, and as my younger brothers girlfriend she was even more a part of the family now than she ever had been before. It was impossible for me to ignore her. She seemed to be everywhere that I went. And when I saw her she would smile at me and say something, anything, that made me forget, that I was supposed to be ignoring her.

The weeks went by and my attraction only grew. It grew so strong that eventually I stopped fighting it. And Hermione noticed. It was plain as day that she noticed. But what was even plainer, to me anyway, was that she responded. She made excuses to touch my hand. She always laughed at my jokes, bad or good. Usually somewhere in the middle. And when we hugged it was as if a herd of centaurs was the only thing that was going to split us up.

Three months later, at my mother's Christmas dinner, we had their first kiss. It was an innocent kiss under the mistletoe in the kitchen. But it was clear to us both that that one kiss was not going to be enough to satisfy us. We found each other later that night in the bathroom. And there we made love for the first time. Both of us knew that it was wrong. Both felt guilty at having betrayed someone they loved. But neither of us was prepared to call it quits.

Over the next few months we made excuses to be with each other. We spend our moments together making love and taking of silly things. We very purposely avoided talking about our other halves or the future. That would only sadden us.

Whenever we weren't together, I thought of her. I saw her face behind my eyelids. When I made love to Fleur I was picturing Hermione pinned underneath me, Hermione whispering in my ear, Hermione screaming out in pleasure. Hermione's face was tattooed across my mind. I couldn't forget it. And at this point I wasn't even going to try.

_**This is the first part of a story requested by xAlexRiddlex. The request was for a tragic Bill and Hermione story. Now I don't know just how tragic this is going to be, but when I started writing this was the story that came to me.**_

_**For those of you who haven't already noticed, this story is built on some of the strophes from the song 'She' by Elvis Costello.**_

_**I know that this chapter is quite short, and I want to let you all know that all of the chapters will be that way. Just warning you in advance. But to make it better there'll be a lot of chapters. Hope you don't hate me.**_

_**As always please review! **_


	2. My Treasure or the Price I Have to Pay

**My Treasure or the Price I Have to Pay**

It was always a pleasure to be with Hermione. Today she was riding me, slow and seductive. The sight of her naked above me, her light skin glistening with sweat, her breasts bouncing up and down, was enough to take my breath away. Her hair was damp and clinging to her face and her mouth was open, but no sound emanated from her lips. She was lost in her own pleasure. I could feel that I was not far from succumbing to my own, so I reach up the take her breasts into my hands. They never ceased to amaze me, her breasts. They were plumb but firm and just the right size for my large hands. And they were sensitive. Just a light squeeze would earn me a moan. This time as well. And when I focused solely on her nipples, I could feel her body going rigid, her thighs, clenched around my hips and her inner walls clamping down on my shaft. Her little scream was enough to push me over the edge and into bliss. She slumped down on top of me; our chests pressed together, her heart beating next to mine.

Hermione instantly drifted off to sleep but I couldn't follow her. I was too aware of the frailty of our relationship. Too aware of the few moments we were given. I didn't want to miss them. Knowing that what we were doing didn't keep me from enjoying these encounters. They always made my day. And if I we weren't going to be together, they memory of a previous meeting was enough to turn a bad day into a tolerable one.

But as there always must be, there was a downside to our joy. For me that was the guilt I had to swallow every time I saw Fleur. It was like a little knife to the heart every time she smiled at me with those great, loving eyes. It was obvious in everything that she did that she loved me. And don't give the wrong idea, I loved her too. I loved her very dearly. But what I felt for Hermione was something different. Something exciting and wrong, but yet so right. They love I had for Fleur was innocent, pure and clean. They stood in completely contrast to one another.

I was painfully aware that I would one day have to choose between them. Every time my thoughts drifted to the choice I would have to make, I would feel myself being pulled into a spiral of panic. I couldn't imagine giving any of them up. One day I would be certain that when the day came I would choose Fleur. She was my wife after all and I owed her that much. But then I would see Hermione the next day and I would know that I couldn't leave her. She was my guilty pleasure.

As I lay there, enjoying the last hour we had together that day I wondered what exactly she was to me; was she my treasure? Or perhaps he price I had to pay for a healthy relationship with Fleur?

_**Yep, another chapter already. I've had the first three chapters lying for some time. I didn't upload them because I wasn't certain that I really liked this story, but then I simply thought 'Oh what the hell!' so here it goes.**_

_**Review, sweet children!**_


	3. The Song that Summer Sings

**The Song that Summer Sings**

It's summer now. My mother is throwing Harry a birthday party in the garden. Everyone is here. Hermione too, of course. She's sitting with Ron, her boyfriend. I don't like the sound of that. Her boyfriend. Especially not when that blasted boyfriend is my little brother. I'm looking at her. She's so beautiful it takes my breath away. The sunlight hits her hair in just the perfect way, making you realise just how many different shades of brown it is. She's sitting on the armrest of the chair that Ron was in, smiling at something he was saying. I can't help wishing that I was in his place.

Suddenly she looks my way. She sends me a little secretive smile. I quickly send her one back before we both pretend that nothing happened between us. My eyes then found Fleur. She was talking vividly with my father. He had always had a soft spot for her. As had I, don't get me wrong. I really do love her. But Hermione… there's something there that cannot be denied.

She sends me another look and I know what that one means. She excuses herself and walks into the now empty house. I wait a few seconds before I follow her. Nobody even glances after me. They have no idea that something's going on. As it should be.

I find her in the upstairs bathroom. I had hardly set foot inside the door before she flings herself at me, her arms locking around my neck, her lips claiming mine. It's weird to think that just a few moments ago she was with her boyfriend and I with my wife, but the thought instantly left my mind when I felt her unzipping my trousers. I manoeuvred her unto the kitchen sink, pulling her dress up around her waist to find that she wasn't even wearing any knickers.

"Wily minx," I growl in her ear as I push myself into her waiting core. There's no time for foreplay. There's no time for teasing or whispered words. This is all about a mutual itch that has to be scratched. She kisses my neck lovingly as I frantically work my way in and out of her. I am the first to find release in her slick folds. With a few lazy thrusts she comes with a muffled shriek.

Straightening our clothes we make our way back to party trying not to look conspicuous. I walk up to Fleur, who is still chatting with my father, put an arm around her and gently kiss her cheek. She laughs softly and snuggles into my embrace. I cast one last glance over my shoulder at Hermione who is now sitting on Ron's lap. This time she doesn't see me watching her. I don't need her to see. Just looking at her makes me realise that Fleur is the summer song and Hermione the spring song. Fleur is warmth and glowing beauty. Hermione is freshness and surprises around every corner. How am I to chose between these two?

_**And another one. Review even if you have nothing to say. Sometimes – most of the time – those reviews are the best!**_


	4. The Beauty or the Beast

**The Beauty or the Beast**

It was also this summer that Fleur and I first started having problems. We were fighting more often than we were making love. She shouted that me daily, saying that I never listened to her, that I never paid any attention to her. And she was right. I only very rarely listened to what she was saying because I was thinking of Hermione. And I never really paid attention to her since I was still thinking about Hermione. It seemed to me that my entire life was suddenly a beauty or the beast situation – but where Fleur used to be the beauty she was now slowly turning into the beast.

I didn't tell Hermione about my problems with Fleur. I didn't tell her that I was contemplating leaving Fleur. That would make the affair seem so grave and serious. That was the absolutely last thing I needed. I had enough serious and grave with Fleur. Hermione was my haven. She was the autumn chill that was beginning to settle. And I was afraid that if I told her, she would leave me. I was afraid that she would then see herself forced to choose between me and Ron. And I knew I wouldn't be her choice. She and Ron were made for each other; that was clear as day. Everyone could see it. Which was, I think, part of the reason why nobody suspected that she was cheating on him.

When I was with Hermione I could easily forget that I was married. It felt as if I had two different lives. I had a life where I was blissfully happy and another one where I used to be happy but was now falling into a pit of despair. You'd think that it would be easy for me to choose the happy life over the sad one. But nothing is ever as simple as it seems. Nothing.

I had a Beauty and a Beast. But as in the Muggle fairytale – which Hermione read aloud to me when we had just started seeing each other – the beast wasn't bad. Everyone has another layer. Fleur might be showing another side of her that I hadn't seen before, but the side I had known so far was someone I loved. More than that, someone I'd married. And I couldn't turn my back on that. Even if I did have a Beauty waiting in the wing.

In the Muggle version of this story, the Beast suddenly sheds its monstrous hide and the beauty within is revealed. I don't know how my story will end. I don't know if I'll ever see the beauty of my wife again. But I'll have faith that one day she'll return. But until that day comes I will have another fair beauty in my life.

_**I hope you like this new chapter! I know it's shorter than the others, but I'll strife to make the next one longer.**_

_**Please review, you know you want to!**_


	5. The Mirror of My Dreams

**The Mirror of My Dreams**

How you ever thought about the difficulty of having two women love you? Perhaps you have, but if you haven't I can tell you that it is not at all funny. But have you then thought about the difficulty of _loving_ two women? Because that is even harder. I would much rather have two women loving me than loving two women. When two women love you it's often easy to chose; you just go for the one you yourself love. But with having two women you love you have to decide who you _love the best_. And that is not at all easy. Believe me, I know.

I love my wife; Fleur is the woman I vowed to spend my life with. I cannot laugh at a promise like that. And she loves me, there's no doubt about. I see it in her eyes when we make love. I feel it in her embrace. I hear it in her voice when she speaks my name. No, there can be no doubt of Fleur's love for me. And I have not the slightest doubt of my love for her. But then I remember Hermione.

Now, Hermione is so very different than Fleur. And yet I love her too. I love her with a fierce and burning craving that never seems to diminish. When I make love to Fleur and she looks at me with loving eyes, I imagine that she is Hermione. When Fleur embraces me I long for Hermione's arms. When Fleur speaks my name I hear only Hermione's voice. She is branded on my skin and on my heart.

When Hermione takes over my mind it never lasts long. And when I come back around I am always consumed by guilt. Because then I see Fleur, I see her beauty, I see her devotion, I see her love. And I remember all the memories we have formed together. All the times we have sworn each other love over and over again. I can't turn my back on her.

But not long after that I'm in Hermione's arms again. Our little room in the Muggle motel is filled with the strong smell of our lovemaking. Her skin is damp and glistening in the faint moonlight. Her hair is wild and uncontrollable just like her. She strokes my arms, down my back and playfully pinches my buttocks. She laughs heartily as if we have no troubles at all. And it that one perfect moment we don't. We only have each other, there's no Fleur, there's no Ron. There's her and me and our love, our world. But never our future. We can't have that.

I dream about the day she leaves Ron. Though I have no plans of leaving Fleur I can't stand the thought of sharing her. Especially with my little brother. I am the image of double standards. I want her all to myself but I still expect her to share me with another woman. But dreams can't be contained; I have tried and failed often enough to say that with certainty. I dream of having Hermione all to myself. Of being the only one to caress her breasts. The only one to kiss her stomach. The only one to penetrate her core.

In her face I see my dreams. I no longer dream of Fleur. Only Hermione. I'm beginning to feel that the love I have for Fleur is nothing else than dutiful love. Why else is my mind consumed by another woman? Or is she like a drug? Is she wholly unhealthy, will she eventually kill me? Though these questions trouble me I still can't abandon her. My mind might be screaming at me to end it, end it now! But my heart is screaming just as loudly for me to hold on! And how can you ignore your heart? You tell me that! Is it even possible to ignore your heart and be happy? I think not.

I dream of Hermione. And I wake up with Fleur.

_**Uh, it's getting really difficult for me to come up with new things, but I'll do my best. I hope you're still liking this story.**_

_**As always keep the reviews coming. Reviews keep the writer happy, you know. And a happy writer is the key to a speedy update.**_

_**And also take requests, but I would really prefer it if you PM me your request. Usually I would also take requests from reviews, but it is just really confusing and hard to keep track of. So I hope you won't mind using the PM system.**_


	6. The Reason I Survive

**The Reason I Survive**

Having an affair doesn't make love easier. You're still faced with problems, arguments and rows. Though Hermione and I were usually pretty good at avoiding these things. Our one cardinal rule was to never ever talk about the future or our respective partners. And believe it or not it worked. But even the cleverest plan sometimes falls through.

One day, about a year after our first encounter Hermione and I had a date. Fleur was visiting her grandmother in France and would be gone for the weekend, so Hermione was coming to visit me at Shell Cottage. When she arrived it took us all of three seconds before we were all over each other, clumsily making our way to the living room couch as we were kissing, fondling and undressing. It was when I was sliding her bra strap off of her that I felt it. The engagement ring.

Hermione Granger, the woman I was kissing and undressing, was engaged. And not just to any random man but to my brother. My little brother. Suddenly what we were doing was that much more real, that much more wrong. I couldn't go through with it. I stopped the kissing. Hermione looked up at me with huge, questioning eyes. And that was when I broke our one rule. I talked about Ron and I talked about the future. To say that she was mad would be an understatement. She left after having shouted at me for far longer than I care to admit.

When the door had slammed behind her I slid down onto the couch lifelessly with my head buried in my hands. I was certain that I had screwed up our entire relationship. And while that saddened me, I did love her after all, I saw a ray of hope, a glimmer of light. This way, I wouldn't have to choose anymore. Life had chosen for me. I was obviously meant to be with Fleur.

In that same instantly I remembered the time when I knew for certain that Fleur was the one for me, that she loved me and always would. I remembered myself lying in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts after being attacked by Greyback. I wasn't completely conscious but I was still able to hear and sense certain things. And what I remember the best from then was how Fleur fought for me. She and my mother had never really gotten long, something that was really hard for me. It's not easy when the two most important women in your life don't get along. Sometimes I was certain that Fleur was going to realize that I wasn't worth the effort. And after the attack I was more certain than ever that she was going to leave me. In my eyes she was pure perfection. Why would she stay with a scarred half werewolf with a difficult mother-in-law? I was ready for her to leave me all together. But she didn't. She fought for me. Her love, devotion and dedication brought me back to life. Her face was the first thing I saw when I came back to her. Her lovely, smiling, adorning face that I have loved ever since I saw it first.

Sitting there all alone in the darkness I started to feel something I hadn't in months. I was beginning to miss my wife. I suddenly missed her smile, her hand on my cheek as she caressed my scars and the way she spoke my name when she orgasmed. Missing her was all I could think of when there was a knock on the door. For a second I convinced myself that it had to be Fleur coming home early because she missed me as well, but I quickly realized that it couldn't be her. Why would she knock on the door of her own home? So in deep wonderment I went to answer the door. And outside in the winter weather was Hermione. I'm ashamed to say that when I laid eyes on her face I forgot all about Fleur and missing her and hoping that she would come home. All I could think of was Hermione.

We didn't say a word. Neither of us mentioned the argument. What would be the point of that? We just kissed and made up. And that night we made sweet, slow love like never before. It was more tender than ever before. With every thrust inside of her, with every moan escaping her lips I fell a little more in love her and Fleur left my heart a little more. That night I told her I loved her. Something I'd never done before, something that was undeniable against our rules. But when she said it back my heart soared that I was happier than ever before.

_**I know it's been a while since last but I was waiting for inspiration so I could write something you would all love. I hope I have accomplished that!**_

_**Please, please, please review and request!**_


	7. The Meaning of My Life Is She

**The Meaning of My Life Is She**

I left her. There was nothing else I could do. Finally life and destiny chose my path for me. I knew this whole situation couldn't last forever, and yet I couldn't make up my mind on who to be with – who did my heart belong to? Who would be there till the end? Who would be the meaning of my life?

Life chose for me. I had no say in it. And as I now sit cuddling her, I know I made the right decision. I look down on her beautiful, angelic face, and my heart is close to bursting. She's the one I love, the one I'll always be with, the girl of my dreams and my life.

In her face, as I look down on her, I see my future. In her face I see happiness, love, laughter and joy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that choosing her was the right thing to do.

Suddenly she opens her eyes and looks at me. A little smile appears on her lips and my heart soars uncontrollably. Her beautiful eyes lock onto mine. Then she laughs an adorable, innocent laugh that will forever make me weak in the knees.

This is the girl I chose – my daughter Victoire.

_**And that concludes this story. Finally. Hopefully I'll now be able to start working on some of the other stories I have waiting for my attention.**_


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